April 1. Floor story

I believe this story came from the yen pit…or somewhere in FX anyway; one of the smaller pits.  There was a local (independent trader) in this pit, who, from all accounts was disheveled and overweight… a slob.  Which wasn’t all that uncommon to be honest.  And of course, the great thing about the floor is that he might well have also been a genius, because the floor teaches the timeless lesson of not judging a book by its cover.  Anyway, one of the order filling brokers relentlessly heckled the local, mocking his appearance, and calling him all kinds of profane names.   ‘Fat fuck’ comes to mind, but I am talking about really crude, loud language that the whole pit could hear.  If you are a connoisseur of crude insults, the trading floor was unmatched in its day.  In any case, one morning just prior to the open, this filling broker’s clerk comes in and says to him, “Hey there’s a guy in suit waiting for you at the front desk, and he says it’s important that he talks to you immediately.”  So the broker walks out and sees a guy in a suit with a briefcase, who introduces himself and hands him a thick manilla envelope saying, “I am the attorney representing Mr. X (the local).  This is the sexual harassment suit that we have filed against you.  I suggest you retain an attorney as soon as possible.  This is my business card; of course all the information is in the envelope, but have your attorney contact me directly.  Don’t worry about informing the exchange, we are sending a copy of everything to the legal department by courier today, and, as you know, the exchange takes cases of harassment very seriously.  We will be moving ahead quickly on this.  Please make sure your attorney calls me soon.  Have a nice day.”

The broker is, of course, shell-shocked and as he’s stumbling back to the pit he realizes his financial livelihood is at stake, and he is mumbling to himself, ‘what am I going to tell my wife and kids?’ Of course, it’s just before the opening and his clerk is organizing orders and handing them to him to fill at the bell, but the broker is numb.  In walks the slob, looking up at the boards, unkempt as always, jotting down a note on a trading card as though he doesn’t have a care in the world. Business as usual.  And the broker humbly says, “Hey, can we talk about this?”  And the slob just ignores him for a minute and then says, “Sure.  Happy April Fool’s Day.”

The insults stopped.

Best April Fools I ever heard.  I am sure someone from that pit knows the exact story, and I would be glad to correct it, but I am pretty certain I captured the flavor…

Posted on April 1, 2017 at 4:37 pm by alexmanzara · Permalink
In: Eurodollar Options

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